Ah, the holidays. A time for joy, connection, and—let’s be honest—way too many commitments. Between the endless holiday parties, family gatherings, gift shopping, and the 1,000 other things we feel we should be doing, it’s easy to end up exhausted, burned out, and wondering where the joy went. So, why do we do it to ourselves?

Let’s dive into the psychology of the holiday hustle and figure out why we can’t seem to say no—and more importantly, how to stop.

The Pressure to Be Everywhere

It starts innocently enough, right? A casual invitation here, a “you should join us” there, and before you know it, your calendar is bursting at the seams. Why do we say “yes” to everything, even when we know it’s going to lead to a stressed-out, overbooked holiday season?

A big part of it is societal pressure. We want to create the perfect holiday experience, and saying “yes” to every invitation or request can feel like we’re “doing it right.” Plus, there’s this sneaky little thing called guilt that creeps in when we think about disappointing people. But here’s the kicker: overcommitting is not the same as making memories. In fact, it often leads to missing out on the moments that actually matter—like relaxing at home with loved ones or, let’s be real, just taking a nap.

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Another culprit is the dreaded FOMO. During the holidays, it can feel like if we’re not at every party or gathering, we’re somehow missing out on the magic. But here’s the secret: magic happens when you choose where to be, rather than stretching yourself thin trying to be everywhere. The fear of missing out is only powerful if you let it control your choices.

Instead of saying “yes” to everything out of obligation, ask yourself, Will this bring me joy? If it doesn’t, it’s okay to say no. Trust me, the holidays are plenty magical, and it’s okay to create space for your version of it.

Setting Boundaries Like a Pro

Now that we’ve uncovered the why behind our overcommitment, let’s talk about the how—as in, how to stop the cycle and actually enjoy the season. Ready? Here are some tips to set boundaries and reclaim your holiday sanity:

1. Decide What Matters Most: Take a moment to think about what you truly want to experience this holiday season. Is it time with family? A cozy evening with friends? Or maybe a few hours of uninterrupted me-time? Whatever it is, make that your priority.

2. Say No With Confidence: This is so hard for some of us, but trust me, it gets easier. When an invitation or request comes your way, don’t be afraid to politely decline. You can say something like, “I’m taking some time to rest and recharge this season” or “I’m focusing on a smaller circle this year.” It doesn’t have to be an excuse—it’s about making space for what truly matters to you.

3. Create a Holiday Schedule That Feels Joyful: Rather than letting your calendar run your life, take control. Map out a plan for the holidays that includes the activities that bring you joy, while leaving room for flexibility. The goal isn’t to fill every day with something—it's to create a schedule that lets you breathe and actually enjoy your time.

4. Be Intentional With Your Time: When you do say “yes,” make sure it’s a wholehearted “yes.” Be present and engaged in the moment, rather than rushing from one thing to the next. Quality over quantity, always!

5. Don’t Forget to Rest: It’s easy to forget that rest is part of the celebration, but trust me, it’s essential. Whether it’s an afternoon nap or a quiet evening with your favorite holiday movie, make sure you give yourself the gift of rest.

Let’s Make This Holiday Season Joyful, Not Jam-Packed

It’s all about balance. You don’t have to be everywhere, do everything, or make every event picture-perfect. The holidays should be about what brings you peace, connection, and happiness—not about checking off an endless to-do list.

So, this year, I challenge you to embrace the power of saying “no,” create a holiday schedule that feels intentional, and remember that the true magic of the season is in the moments that make you feel good—not in the hustle.

Let me know how you’re going to set boundaries this season and how you’re making room for the joy that truly matters.

Wishing you a holiday season filled with all the good stuff (and none of the stress). Let’s do this!

Xoxo,
Whitney

P.S. If you need some help with planning your holiday season (or anything else), check out Holiday & Gifting Notion Dashboard! You got this, holiday rockstar. 💖