Have you ever come across a quote that felt like it was meant just for you? That happened to me this morning when I read this gem in James Clear’s 3-2-1 Newsletter:

As soon as I read it, it was like a lightbulb went on. How often do we let our inner critic drive us forward, pushing us with stress or self-doubt, when really, our inner voice could be our biggest resource?

Why Self-Talk Matters More Than You Think

Most of us know about self-talk, but we might not realize just how powerful it can be in shaping how we feel about ourselves and our goals. The way we speak to ourselves in challenging moments often sets the tone for our entire day, our mindset, and even our ability to show up for others.

The best part? It doesn’t take grand gestures or perfect words. In fact, just a small shift in how we address ourselves—like we’re talking to a friend or a child—can make all the difference.

Need Confidence? Try Speaking to Yourself as You Would a Friend

Think about the last time a friend came to you feeling unsure or lacking confidence. You likely offered words of encouragement, reminded them of their strengths, and told them to trust in themselves. Imagine taking that same gentle, encouraging tone when you’re feeling low. Instead of berating yourself for not feeling “good enough,” try saying, “Hey, I’ve got this. I know what I’m doing, and I’m going to do my best.”

It might feel strange at first, but over time, treating yourself like a friend can help you find the confidence you need without the added stress or self-criticism.

Need Persistence? Encourage Yourself Like You’re Teaching a Student

When we’re working toward a long-term goal, persistence can feel hard to maintain. There are bumps along the way, and it’s easy to get discouraged. When teaching a student, we’d likely remind them that setbacks are part of the learning process. We’d say, “You’re making progress. It doesn’t have to be perfect today, just keep going.”

Speaking to yourself this way—like a student who’s learning as they go—can help you stay focused without being overly hard on yourself.

Need Patience? Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Child

In moments when patience feels especially thin, we’re usually most critical of ourselves. But if a child were feeling frustrated or impatient, we’d likely take a much softer approach. Maybe we’d say, “It’s okay. Take a breath. Let’s try again.”

Bringing that same tone to our own self-talk can ease the pressure and help us stay calm through life’s inevitable waiting games. Being gentle with ourselves is something we don’t always prioritize, but it can completely change how we navigate challenging moments.

Turning Your Inner Voice into Your Greatest Resource

In a world that often pushes us to hustle harder and be “better,” changing how we talk to ourselves can feel surprisingly radical. The beauty of this approach is that it’s simple and completely within our control. We’re never going to get rid of self-doubt or struggle altogether, but we can choose to speak to ourselves in ways that make those moments easier.

So, next time you’re needing a bit of confidence, persistence, or patience, try this approach. Imagine how you’d speak to a friend, a student, or a child, and see how much gentler, kinder, and more effective your self-talk becomes.

And if you’re into thoughtful advice and little nuggets like this one, James Clear’s 3-2-1 Newsletter is a must-read. Each week it’s full of quotes and insights that just get it.

Here’s to becoming our own biggest cheerleaders!